Ever caught yourself in the comparison trap? It is the time you actively think about you compared to somebody else. It may be the person in front of you, a TV personality, someone at work, or someone far away. We don’t need proximity to do our comparisons. When we are in this squirrel cage, logic flees, pride sets up shop, and the roller coaster of emotions offers us the front seat on the ride.
It usually starts as a mild acknowledgement of a person’s looks, position, status, health, possessions, talents, or the lack of all the above. When comparison shopping in the mall of self esteem, every store cries out “ one day special on my size is smaller than yours” or “ 50% off glasses that reduce your neighbors boat to a dingy!” The problem with comparison shopping is, you can’t win. If you judge yourself better, richer, smarter, prettier, thinner, stronger, etc, it is only a matter of time until you meet your match or better. Then you hit the roller coaster ride, drop into sadness, loss, frustration, jealousy and envy. If you judge yourself beneath the level of the person you are now emotionally competing with, you create an undercurrent of dissatisfaction with your life that leads to myriads of emotional ups and downs that create needless stress, anger, anxiety, and tension.
I learned from a wise man that if you have something to prove, you have something to lose. If you have something to lose, you have something to fear. Fear leads to anger, and anger leads to pain. You have to nip this ride in the bud by stopping at something to prove. If I have to prove that I am successful, and the stuff I surround myself with proves it, it is only a matter of time until I bump into somebody with more stuff. If it Is looks I have to compete with, there is no end to the subjective judgments of others that set me up for the fall into never looking the best in everyone’s eyes.
I’m my own worst enemy-
There is a psychological study of how people feel when looking at their body. It is called Our body picture. Our body image, or body picture, is the snapshot we hold in our mind that defines our comparison struggle each day. It is our image of what we think others see when they see us. This aspect has varying emotional impacts depending on our age, emotional maturity, past events that shaped our body image, as well as our level of relationship with the God of the universe.
This shifting body image can be construed and warped by the enemy. We see fat when there is none. We see blemishes where others don’t, we see imperfections our clothes hide, or we see perfection where there is not, we see skinny when we are full bodied. We deceive ourselves to make up for the shame we feel living in an imperfect body. That’s the issue, living in an imperfect body. Full bodied people look with envy on the skinny person, who looks with envy on the person with just a little more weight on their frame. We struggle with eating disorders where we eat nothing, or we binge and purge. We eat to self comfort, and feel uncomfortable. We eat to punish ourselves, then feel regret. Satan’s plan is always to overdo anything until it hurts us. The honest body project will bring peace and inner strength that only a correct understanding of God brings. We need the spiritual aspect only Jesus can give. We will never be at peace with our outward looks because our body picture is distorted. Our body picture is distorted because we live in a broken world with a focus on the physical.
God tells us that We have a spirit of power, love and self control, not a spirit of fear. When we remember that the holy righteous, perfect God of it all looks at us, and loves what he sees, all I want to do is bask in His presence! And now we discover the secret to living in these imperfect bodies. The honest body project begins!
Clay pots stuffed with gold-
Paul describes the reality of our bodies this side of heaven. He says we carry this treasure (Jesus in us!) in fragile clay pots, in order to show that the power to do great things comes from the Father of great things. We are all living with a terminal disease which will claim just the clay pot (our physical bodies) if we acknowledge the maker of our souls, and embrace His image of us. Whether you believe it or not, all your great things you do and become come from the one who is looking at you and saying “ yep, that’s my image doing that, the one I love to see!” Imagine if you could get up every day knowing that you were already cherished by the creator of the universe. How would your body image change if you were embraced every day by somebody who looked past your looks and loved you anyway! This doesn’t mean we continue to abuse food, live unhealthy lives, and forget the call to a healthier lifestyle. God wants us to be victor over the enemy’s plans to hurt us physically, spiritually, and emotionally. He offers freedom, victory, and health to us if we will take it.
God taught us some things about comparison shopping. It is found in the account of when Saul comes looking for a king of Israel. He enters the house of Jesse, and sits as all of the sons are paraded past him. He keeps asking God to confirm the man, and God keeps saying “next”. When there are none left, Saul asks Jesse if he has anymore sons. Jesse sheepishly says that there is the youngest, David, but he is too young, too skinny, too short, too rugged around the edges to be a King. God nudges Samuel, and he says to fetch David from the sheep pens.
In comes David, hot from the noon day sun, red faced, young, probably a little acne around the nose, and smelling of sheep shenanigans. God says this is the one, and Samuel anoints him with oil. God was looking at the heart, He could see the man David would become, and He could see his line preserving the way for His son in the not too distant future.
If Samuel had not heard Gods voice, he would have never chosen David. It is the same today. The world compares us and we come up winning (for now) or wanting, but God is choosing us at this very moment. He is looking into our heart and liking what He sees. Not because we are pretty, standing there In our sin, anger, lust, bitterness, fear, and envy. He loves what He sees, US! This kind of love is hard to understand when we have been conditioned to judge somebody worthy of our love if they pass the vision test, our vision of what they should look like.
This is not an excuse to become unhealthy in what we eat, or to excuse yourself from healthy exercise, rest, and stress management. God wants us to show the world what one person with the correct spiritual lenses can accomplish. When we make ourselves unhealthy by our unhealthy choices, we lessen the impact we can have on a world looking for something or someone who can move them towards spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical health. God wants us to live free from the world’s judgmental glances, but that should lead to a freedom to excel in all He has for us, including living a healthy, balanced life and lifestyle.
John the Baptist and stepping out in style-
Another leader of the faith that didn’t deserve a second glance was John the Baptist. Jesus asked the crowds what they went to see when they travelled to Johns dunk fests. “ Did you come to see a reed bent over in weakness?” Jesus asked. “ Were you expecting to see a man dressed in a three piece suit preaching in an expensive temple??” Jesus finally asked the real question- “ Did you come to see a prophet? Then you are in luck!” He then quotes old testament prophecies to confirm John’s position and mission, something God looked to and was happy to see. John did not look the part, but He accomplished God’s plan and died for his commitment. Who are you looking to lead you? Are they a man lover, a culture guru, a power in yourself preacher, dressed for success, and ready to take you on a ride? What can man offer that God has not already offered in perfection? Who can be there always and forever, never leaving or abandoning you? Only the one who looks and sees the creation He dearly loves!
God is always moving away from the things we hold dear like looks, body sculptures, clothes, and fashion, towards the eternal things of love, grace, mercy, and faith. ‘So don’t focus on the things you can see’, Paul says, ‘because they are going to pass away soon. Fix your eyes on the eternal, what can’t be seen with human eyes, because these things are going to last forever’. 2Cor 4:18.